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Talk to your mother

Writer's picture: Sarah Moungounga-NkomboSarah Moungounga-Nkombo

Last month when I saw my mother again after a year without seeing her, I felt like we had a lot to talk about. A lot of things to have « girl talks » about, which are to be honest a bit hard to share via FaceTime. I gave her the biggest hug and we started talking for hours. In the early years of my young adulthood, I would often be the one talking and my mother would listen. But the more I grow up, the more I want to listen to my mother talk. I want to hear her story and understand what her journey through life has been like, as a human, and also as a woman.



It’s easy for us women to think that our lives have evolved so much more since the time of our mothers and grandmothers, but we could not be further from the truth. Navigating womanhood is as challenging today as it was before. Yes, there has been big progress in the place we occupy and play in society, but some inherent struggles of womanhood remain today. 


Talk to your mother. When the conversation is open and honest the value you will get from it will be bigger than anything you could imagine in your journey as a woman. People wear masks all the time, a well polished advice from some random life coach or someone writing a blog (oops that’s me) will not give you the amount of honesty you need to learn the valuable lessons that will guide you in your journey.



If your mother is no longer reachable, talk to someone you consider a mother figure. An honest, open, loving, mother figure. 



Am I suggesting that your mother knows everything, is 100% right and you should do as she says with every aspect of your life? Not at all. Both of you are different people, value different things, and approach life differently. But hearing her story, her challenges, her missteps and her victories, will guide you through the rhythm of life and help you avoid some bumps in the road.


I’m convinced that if more young women surrounded themselves with wise advisors, they would be approaching some important life decisions regarding career, marriage, and motherhood, with more carefulness and patience. 


So talk to your mother. And if you are tempted to believe that time, society, and culture, are so much more different for you than it was for her, remember that, the more things change the more they are the same.



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